How to pick up women.

Every guy wants to know how to flirt with a woman. If you want to get her phone number and have a date with her you need to know the real secrets of flirting. Here's how it works... 
You see a gorgeous woman that you want to meet and date her right? The first thing that goes through your mind is something like "so...what do I say to her?".
How do you make sure you say the right things? What are the best lines you can use?
The golden rule of flirting is NOT to use typical pick up lines.  Never open with some overused line you picked up from a forwarded email, a magazine or a website. They don't work.
Women don't like those lines because they make you look cheap. If you use a made-up pick up line from a magazine for instance, then you will not make her feel that supernatural gut level feeling called attraction.  Attraction can be triggered in any woman if you know how...
 
Be Sociable - Naturally, if you want to be successful at meeting women then you need to be sociable.  You don’t want to shy away from the conversation.  If you approach a woman and you’re hesitant to talk when it’s your turn or if you try to avoid talking then you will look like a very unsociable person who isn’t very fun. However if you approach women and you know how to keep a conversation going, and you know how to make the conversation fun then you will always be remembered for having that ability.  Not everyone is not born to have a personality that is the life of the party.  In that case...

Here are a few tips that will help socially awkward people take on the real world.
  1. Use eye contact. No need to have a staring contest, but make eye contact long enough to bring off that you are listening and interested in what they have to say.
  2. Empathy! Ask about their interests and see if you two have anything in common. Also sympathize with their problems. 
  3. Go out. Be the first to invite people to hang out rather than wait for someone to invite you. Hang out in spots that are easy for conversation starters. (i.e. parties, BBQ's)
  4. Compliments... You never know when someone is having a bad day.  An unexpected compliment does wonders and is a great conversation starter.
Use Comedy - You don’t want to seem like a boring person right off of the bat.  You want to introduce comedy as soon as possible.  The best possible way is to open to the woman in a slightly off-the-wall comment that is funny and will get a great response.  If you can get them to laugh as soon as you meet them, then you can count yourself as practically golden because they will always remember you as a very funny guy.

Here are a few tips on how to make a woman laugh.
  1. Start by making fun of yourself. It is the safest form of humor. It shows that you are down to earth and that you can take criticism. And, women will be more honest with you as well. If you have made a mistake in your life or done something that is silly, you can use this as a topic to for a joke. Keep it light, of course, don't insult yourself.
  2. Try and experiment on what makes your specific woman laugh. Not all women laugh at the same jokes. Try to find out what type of humor she likes. The safest method would be to begin with a more general type of humor that most people find funny, the so-called universal jokes.
  3. Don't make her laugh too much. In other words - don't be her personal clown. There is a time to talk and time to be quiet. After you tell a joke, try to spin conversation towards a new direction. Humor is important for a relationship, but girls also need romance and the feeling of safety.
  4. Be careful when talking about someone else. If there is something funny about someone or what they did, you can use this as a material for a joke but you should be careful with this. You don't want to make someone else look bad because this can make you look like a cruel person.
  5. Do not insult her. You may find some jokes funny but those jokes are better shared with a group of male friends. Many men made this kind of mistake. And don't make fun with something that is important to her.
  6. Never stage a joke i.e. don't say. "Let me tell you a great joke. It is very funny." Humor needs to have an element of surprise. Jokes you tell must be relevant to what just happened or what was just said. Jokes you've memorized can be old or overrated and she may have heard them.
  7. Don't laugh at your own jokes - you can spoil the punch line. Smile, but don't laugh.
  8. Be a good listener and you'll have you enough material to have fun with.
  9. Facial expressions and body language can always enhance a joke and even make it funny. Watch a stand-up comedians and observe their facial expressions. Also, try to maintain a mindset of a funny talk show host - watch a few shows and model the host.
  10. Try and practice being humorous with a male friend before you try it with women. Also, you can stand in front of the mirror and try to improve your performance and body language.
Great Body Language - It’s extremely important to have solid body language when approaching women.  Having bad body language will immediately tell the woman that you are nervous, anxious, or socially awkward.  You want to have “open” body language, body language that says I’m comfortable with myself and my surroundings.  You can do this by keeping your hands out of your pockets, hands at your sides, keeping your shoulders and head back. You want to have good back posture as well, which means you don't want to walk slouched over with your head looking towards the ground!

Let’s talk about the 5 body language secrets that should be used to help you attract women:
  1. Movement – Nervous guys are always fidgety and jerky.  Confident men who are successful with women make very controlled movements.  They walk slowly and only make controlled movements.  You will never see a confident man with restless leg syndrome or fidgeting with their fingers.  By slowing down your movement you are presenting to the rest of the world a more “comfortable” version of yourself and it makes you that much more approach-friendly.
  2. Lean Back and Relax – When you are sitting up or in any sort of position that isn’t standing up, lay back and relax.  Let your arms hang down at your sides, and make yourself as comfortable as you possibly can.  Shy guys have a tendency of “shielding” themselves from other people by sitting forward with their arms folded.  Don’t do this as it makes you look closed off.  Relax!
  3. Be Spacious – In any situation, always take up as much space as possible.  If you’re sitting in a lobby, sort of lean back and kick your legs out.  This is a “territorial” thing that all people notice subconsciously.  If people see you taking up this space they will automatically assume you to be the alpha in the room and that you are the one who is the most laid back and fun!
  4. Walking Posture - When you are walking it’s very important to have great posture.  If you walk with your head down with your hands in your pocket you will look completely unapproachable.  Walk with your back straight, with your head tilted up just a bit.  Stick your chest out and bring your shoulders back.  This shows women what they are most attracted too, confidence.  Take a look at any millionaire, rockstar, or celebrity.  They always walk this way and it’s because they are confident with themselves.
  5. Open Yourself – When you are approaching women stand or sit with your palms slightly exposed with your arms at your sides and with your legs shoulder width apart (or out in front of you if you are sitting).  Don’t ever cross your arms or your legs as this is a signal for being “closed” off. 
Be Unique - Try to be as unique as you can without completely separating yourself from other people. This doesn't mean dye your hair green, strap on an eye patch, and wear full body spandex.  It means use little things in your everyday routine that separate you from everyone else.  It's hard to say whats unique and even harder to give tips on how to be unique without inadvertently making everyone unique and thus making this pointless. Try to come up with your own style and flare or think of things you can do to make yourself stand out.

Here are a few tips hat might help.  Try to come up with your own though.

  1. Carry a pocket watch.  Most people don't use them anymore and they will give you a subtle hint of timelessness.
  2. Use a unique cologne.  Try to avoid buying it at a store and look for one online.  The're are literally thousands of them. Try to find one no one else has and use it consistently.
  3. Carry a Zippo lighter with you. Even if you don't smoke. You never know when a cute girl might need a lite.  Plus a Zippo is a much more unique than a standard lighter.
  4. Use a money clip.  Everyone has a wallet but a money clip stands out. It even lets you inadvertently flash a little cash.
  5. Having an accent will set you apart but don't unnaturally speak with one. Just keep in mind that if you do have an accent you're being unique.
  6. Try to avoid shortening words when speaking.  "Who's" and "They're" should be pronounced as "Who Is" and They Are" This will make you seem well spoken, and set you apart from others.
Expect to fail, and when you fail pick yourself up and try again.  Practice makes perfect.  Some of the most successful men will still fail 9 times out of 10.  If you fail it's not because your bad at flirting with women.  It's because not every woman you approach is going to be interested it you.  If you fail consistently, then maybe it's time to try another approach.

photo courtesy of guymeetsgirlonline.com